The Soundtrack of Life

With very little happening until Thursday, when pitchers and catchers report (and, really, not much happens even then), it’s time for one last bit of frivolity before the hearty, in-depth analyses. Thus, I present the Soundtrack of Life.

The Soundtrack of Life is a game, developed by some friends while in college, that essentially asks the question: What would your theme music be?

Starbucks made a clever commercial not too long ago under this same premise, as a twenty something worker went through his morning routine, while a variation of Gary Glitter’s “Rock & Roll Part II” was being sung by anyone and everyone around him.

The way that the game went was to pick a song that would accompany you as you entered a bar/party and would set the tone for your evening. Some popular choices included the intro to House of Pain’s “Jump Around”, Tupac’s “I Get Around”, and Queen’s “Fat-Bottomed Girls” (remember that these are college students on the prowl), which would conceivably set the environment. Interestingly, bw-3 (before it changed its name) at the University of Dayton had “Fat-Bottomed Girls” on the jukebox, so the biggest guy among us would feed $20 into the machine, play it over and over, and look menacingly at anyone who complained. Ah, the good old days.

But the game was always fun for mindless Sunday morning discussions and was reinforced by some famous Soundtrack of Life moments in cinema; most notably Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey’s character) entering the Emporium in Dazed & Confused in a slo-mo saunter while Bob Dylan’s “Hurricane” provided the backdrop.

To put the idea into Cleveland terms, think of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” playing every Friday at 5PM on WNCX, hyping up untold Clevelanders for the weekend and setting the tone for a Friday night.

This concept, or game, was always also fun to play at Jacobs Field, as players came out to what could be called their Soundtrack, or theme music. In years past, they have ranged from the boring (almost all of them) to the clever (Thome coming out to the chorus from Black Oak Arkansas’ “Jim Dandy” - Jim Dandy to the rescue) to the incredible (no matter what you thought of John Rocker personally or as a pitcher, when he came out to the extended version of The Scorpions “Rock You Like a Hurricane”, there was no way to not get excited). We would listen to a players' intro music and pick a song that would be more fitting for them.

So, I’ve decided to make some suggestions for the 2006 Tribe for songs that they can be introduced to.
Without further ado:
2006 Song Suggestions
Grady Sizemore – Voodoo Child – Jimi Hendrix
The Seattle native memorably came out to the Doors’ “Back Door Man” last year, leaving a lot of things up to the imagination; but this year we’ll go with the guitar intro to this Hendrix classic. Some songs that were rejected include “Just a Gigilo” by David Lee Roth (suggested by serial poster Cy Slapnicka) and the “Superman Theme” by John Williams, playing off of the SuperSizemore persona. The “Superman Theme” just seemed a little too cocky.
Jason Michaels – I Want Action – Poison
Honoring his brother Bret Michaels’ band (they’re not really brothers), this 80’s anthem should fit in well with his reputation as a hard guy, and sometimes-bad boy.
Jhonny Peralta – Tonight Show Theme
Starting with the Ed McMahon “Here’s Johnny” introduction, the song is just classic for the low-key Peralta to make an intro and become a fan favorite as fans introduce him right along with Ed.
Travis Hafner – Stone Cold ’s entrance music
The way that the WWE fan (he sat front row at a recent show at The Q) swaggers to the plate, the glass-breaking and intimidating music that accompanied Austin’s way to the ring would serve nicely into making nice-guy Pronk a little more intimidating.
Victor Martinez – Let’s Go Crazy – Prince
I had a lot of trouble with this one (mainly because my exposure to Latin music consists of Gloria Estafan and Gerardo), but an upbeat song to accompany an upbeat, happy-go-lucky guy seemed natural.
Ronnie Belliard – Hells Bells – AC/DC
The tolling of the bells that begin this classic, then the guitar riff is just simple enough that it would serve as a nice intro. The connection is Belliard…Bells…get it?
Aaron Boone – Beverly Hills – Weezer
In honor of his Playmate wife, and the fact that he is a native of SoCal (and with a shout out to serial poster T-Bone, a diehard Weezer fan), Boonie can come out to the refrain of this recent hit.
Ben Broussard – Better Man – Pearl Jam
Yes, this is a bit of a dig on Benny, who is a big PJ fan. In lieu of playing his own CD, he can come out to the line, Can’t find a Better Man, which Shapiro may have sung during a recent karaoke performance, referring to his 1B problem.
Kasey Blake – Back in Black – AC/DC
Eschewing the advice of Cy Slapnicka (who suggested some Tom Petty songs, “Even the Losers”, “Runnin’ Down a Dream”, and “Free Fallin’”), I’m going to stay positive with Kasey. We’ll call “the black” hitting .250, so hopefully he can get back in the black this year, after hitting .241 in 2005. Next up for Kasey (if he goes above .250) is to earn back the C in his name by not whiffing so much. The guitar intro to “Back in Black” isn’t bad either.
C.C. – Numb/Encore - Jay-Z & Linkin Park
The Crooked Cap, who is a big Jay-Z guy, could come out to this tremendous song. If you saw the Grammy performance of this song, it doesn’t do it the justice of the track on the CD.
By the way, when are Indian fans going to figure out that when C.C. pitches someone should be putting C’s up for all of his strikeouts instead of K’s? Where are all of the clever fans in this town?
Cliff Lee – Ramble On – Led Zeppelin
This is a weak one, as it’s basically on here because Lee is a big Led Zeppelin fan and “Stairway to Heaven” doesn’t exactly fit the bill.
Jake – Once Bitten, Twice Shy – Great White
Playing off of the Jake the Snake persona, this 80’s anthem plays nicely.
On another aside, when will we see the emergence of The Snake Pit whenever Westbrook pitches? It’s such a natural. Why am I the only one who thinks of these things?
Paul Byrd – Freebird – Lynard Skynard
This is an obvious play on his name, since I don’t know very much about him. I thought about the theme music to Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, while they played a clip of the movie on the Jumbo Tron. Realizing, though, that this is Cleveland, I thought that the anthem of Southern Rock would play a little better.
Rafael Betancourt – Eye of the Tiger – Survivor
This goes back to an interview with Eric Wedge that I heard on the radio a few years back, when Wedge kept praising “Rocky” and how he really came through, and so on. As I sat there wondering who Rocky was, Hamilton came back on to say that Betancourt had done a “whale of a job”. Only then did I realize that Wedge was saying Raffy. But, for me the nickname stuck.
Fernando Cabrera – Enter Sandman – Metallica
Not because he looks like the Sandman from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out (though he kind of does), but more because it’s intimidating the way the Eric Gagne coming out to “Welcome to the Jungle” is intimidating. I’d like to see many years of Cabrera swaggering out of the pen, with Metallica blasting in the background – signaling to the opposing team that the game has just been shortened from 9 to 8 innings.
Bob Wickman – Takin’ Care of Business – BTO
There isn’t that much to be said about this one, which is pretty self-explanatory. He grabs his lunch pail and his hard-hat and gets the job done. May not be pretty, but it’s done.

Also, while we’re at it, I would change the song played after a Tribe victory to the song they play during the final game in Teen Wolf, “Win in the End”; while Tom Petty’s “Even the Losers” can play after a loss, mocking the opposing team while they’re exchanging handshakes on our home field.

And there we have it, my suggestions for introduction music for the Indians’ Soundtrack of Life 2006.

If there’s anyone I missed, or anyone I whiffed on, let me know.

2 days until pitchers and catchers report. Feels like December 23rd.