Lazy Sunday with a Bitterman

After actually watching SNL with Peyton Manning last night, let’s all remember why Lazy Sunday is Lazy Sunday.

On with the show:
Sheldon Ocker revisits the Garko v. Francisco debate, if it is even a debate.

Ocker also throws his pessimism on the praise being heaped on the Indians by the national media. Ocker doesn’t agree that the Indians have a shot at the Central, much less the AL, saying that those writers “are not watching what’s going on in Winter Haven every day”.
They do, however, see that Carl Pavano could be the Opening Day starter in New York, that the Red Sox JUST figured out their bullpen which forced Julian Tavarez into their rotation, that the Twins have Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz in their rotation, and the Angels have a lineup of Vlad Guerrero and…well…um.

Ocker actually compares the lofty expectations to the infamous “Indian Uprising” SI cover in 1987, and says that he has “yet to receive my first e-mail whose reference point is someone's sunny forecast about the Tribe's impending domination of baseball. It seems a little odd that fans haven't ordered me to get on the clue bus and admit that the Indians are the best team in the big leagues.”

Little does he realize that intelligent fans realized long ago to stop taking him seriously or regarding him as anything but a bitter curmudgeon whose relevance decreases with every one of these articles. The only people that e-mail him are likely the same ones who share his bitter stance. As evidenced by his weekly mailbag, if you actually present Ocker with a logical argument as to why the Indians are well-positioned to make a sustained run in the AL, he breaks out his condescending tone, dripping with sarcasm, that turns so many people off in the first place.

While Ocker is not the worst beat writer in Northeast Ohio (Branson Wright is so utterly unreadable that I haven’t finished an article of his all season…and I get the PD at home), but Ocker’s in the discussion. I’ve said it before, but when does Stephanie Storm take over his seat at the ABJ? Is today too soon?

From the worst writer at the ABJ to the best (sorry, Windhorst – you’re close, but Pluto is still the benchmark), T. Pluto weighs in on the final roster decisions, with Mike Rouse winning the Futility job. Don’t discount the concept that the 2007 Futility Infielder is not currently in the Indians’ organization as Ken Rosenthal had them interested in Tony Pena, Jr. – who has since been traded to the Royals to be their (gasp) starting SS.

Pluto also throws out the idea that Juan Lara could be a early replacement if Aaron Fultz struggles out of the gate to fill the LOOGY role. After the debacle that was Jason Johnson and the amount of time he spent eating a roster spot while Rome burned, I would expect the Indians to be more proactive in replacing a struggling pitcher rather than sticking with him because of veteran experience.

Officially, the Hector Luna Trainwreck is off the tracks…thank God. Enjoy his creative fielding, Bisons fans!

And Ozzie Guillen is well on his way to coming off the tracks, making friends on his way off the cliff.

Finally, Andy Call gets Jhonny Peralta on the record about his nightmarish 2006 season with a nice piece on the Tribe SS. I know that this article has been written a number of times and I’m not sure if this is true, but I don’t remember seeing an interview with Peralta on this until now. Jhonny certainly isn’t a quote machine, but it’s nice to actually see him speaking for himself rather than the Tribe brass saying all the right things on his behalf.

2 for 2 in the Final Four predictions (4 for 4 isn’t happening thanks to the brilliant coaching of Rick Barnes against USC), but 3 for 4 is still a distinct possibility.