The Soundtrack of Life

With very little happening until Thursday, when pitchers and catchers report (and, really, not much happens even then), it’s time for one last bit of frivolity before the hearty, in-depth analyses. Thus, I present the Soundtrack of Life.

The Soundtrack of Life is a game, developed by some friends while in college, that essentially asks the question: What would your theme music be?

Starbucks made a clever commercial not too long ago under this same premise, as a twenty something worker went through his morning routine, while a variation of Gary Glitter’s “Rock & Roll Part II” was being sung by anyone and everyone around him.

The way that the game went was to pick a song that would accompany you as you entered a bar/party and would set the tone for your evening. Some popular choices included the intro to House of Pain’s “Jump Around”, Tupac’s “I Get Around”, and Queen’s “Fat-Bottomed Girls” (remember that these are college students on the prowl), which would conceivably set the environment. Interestingly, bw-3 (before it changed its name) at the University of Dayton had “Fat-Bottomed Girls” on the jukebox, so the biggest guy among us would feed $20 into the machine, play it over and over, and look menacingly at anyone who complained. Ah, the good old days.

But the game was always fun for mindless Sunday morning discussions and was reinforced by some famous Soundtrack of Life moments in cinema; most notably Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey’s character) entering the Emporium in Dazed & Confused in a slo-mo saunter while Bob Dylan’s “Hurricane” provided the backdrop.

To put the idea into Cleveland terms, think of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” playing every Friday at 5PM on WNCX, hyping up untold Clevelanders for the weekend and setting the tone for a Friday night.

This concept, or game, was always also fun to play at Jacobs Field, as players came out to what could be called their Soundtrack, or theme music. In years past, they have ranged from the boring (almost all of them) to the clever (Thome coming out to the chorus from Black Oak Arkansas’ “Jim Dandy” - Jim Dandy to the rescue) to the incredible (no matter what you thought of John Rocker personally or as a pitcher, when he came out to the extended version of The Scorpions “Rock You Like a Hurricane”, there was no way to not get excited). We would listen to a players' intro music and pick a song that would be more fitting for them.

So, I’ve decided to make some suggestions for the 2006 Tribe for songs that they can be introduced to.
Without further ado:
2006 Song Suggestions
Grady Sizemore – Voodoo Child – Jimi Hendrix
The Seattle native memorably came out to the Doors’ “Back Door Man” last year, leaving a lot of things up to the imagination; but this year we’ll go with the guitar intro to this Hendrix classic. Some songs that were rejected include “Just a Gigilo” by David Lee Roth (suggested by serial poster Cy Slapnicka) and the “Superman Theme” by John Williams, playing off of the SuperSizemore persona. The “Superman Theme” just seemed a little too cocky.
Jason Michaels – I Want Action – Poison
Honoring his brother Bret Michaels’ band (they’re not really brothers), this 80’s anthem should fit in well with his reputation as a hard guy, and sometimes-bad boy.
Jhonny Peralta – Tonight Show Theme
Starting with the Ed McMahon “Here’s Johnny” introduction, the song is just classic for the low-key Peralta to make an intro and become a fan favorite as fans introduce him right along with Ed.
Travis Hafner – Stone Cold ’s entrance music
The way that the WWE fan (he sat front row at a recent show at The Q) swaggers to the plate, the glass-breaking and intimidating music that accompanied Austin’s way to the ring would serve nicely into making nice-guy Pronk a little more intimidating.
Victor Martinez – Let’s Go Crazy – Prince
I had a lot of trouble with this one (mainly because my exposure to Latin music consists of Gloria Estafan and Gerardo), but an upbeat song to accompany an upbeat, happy-go-lucky guy seemed natural.
Ronnie Belliard – Hells Bells – AC/DC
The tolling of the bells that begin this classic, then the guitar riff is just simple enough that it would serve as a nice intro. The connection is Belliard…Bells…get it?
Aaron Boone – Beverly Hills – Weezer
In honor of his Playmate wife, and the fact that he is a native of SoCal (and with a shout out to serial poster T-Bone, a diehard Weezer fan), Boonie can come out to the refrain of this recent hit.
Ben Broussard – Better Man – Pearl Jam
Yes, this is a bit of a dig on Benny, who is a big PJ fan. In lieu of playing his own CD, he can come out to the line, Can’t find a Better Man, which Shapiro may have sung during a recent karaoke performance, referring to his 1B problem.
Kasey Blake – Back in Black – AC/DC
Eschewing the advice of Cy Slapnicka (who suggested some Tom Petty songs, “Even the Losers”, “Runnin’ Down a Dream”, and “Free Fallin’”), I’m going to stay positive with Kasey. We’ll call “the black” hitting .250, so hopefully he can get back in the black this year, after hitting .241 in 2005. Next up for Kasey (if he goes above .250) is to earn back the C in his name by not whiffing so much. The guitar intro to “Back in Black” isn’t bad either.
C.C. – Numb/Encore - Jay-Z & Linkin Park
The Crooked Cap, who is a big Jay-Z guy, could come out to this tremendous song. If you saw the Grammy performance of this song, it doesn’t do it the justice of the track on the CD.
By the way, when are Indian fans going to figure out that when C.C. pitches someone should be putting C’s up for all of his strikeouts instead of K’s? Where are all of the clever fans in this town?
Cliff Lee – Ramble On – Led Zeppelin
This is a weak one, as it’s basically on here because Lee is a big Led Zeppelin fan and “Stairway to Heaven” doesn’t exactly fit the bill.
Jake – Once Bitten, Twice Shy – Great White
Playing off of the Jake the Snake persona, this 80’s anthem plays nicely.
On another aside, when will we see the emergence of The Snake Pit whenever Westbrook pitches? It’s such a natural. Why am I the only one who thinks of these things?
Paul Byrd – Freebird – Lynard Skynard
This is an obvious play on his name, since I don’t know very much about him. I thought about the theme music to Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, while they played a clip of the movie on the Jumbo Tron. Realizing, though, that this is Cleveland, I thought that the anthem of Southern Rock would play a little better.
Rafael Betancourt – Eye of the Tiger – Survivor
This goes back to an interview with Eric Wedge that I heard on the radio a few years back, when Wedge kept praising “Rocky” and how he really came through, and so on. As I sat there wondering who Rocky was, Hamilton came back on to say that Betancourt had done a “whale of a job”. Only then did I realize that Wedge was saying Raffy. But, for me the nickname stuck.
Fernando Cabrera – Enter Sandman – Metallica
Not because he looks like the Sandman from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out (though he kind of does), but more because it’s intimidating the way the Eric Gagne coming out to “Welcome to the Jungle” is intimidating. I’d like to see many years of Cabrera swaggering out of the pen, with Metallica blasting in the background – signaling to the opposing team that the game has just been shortened from 9 to 8 innings.
Bob Wickman – Takin’ Care of Business – BTO
There isn’t that much to be said about this one, which is pretty self-explanatory. He grabs his lunch pail and his hard-hat and gets the job done. May not be pretty, but it’s done.

Also, while we’re at it, I would change the song played after a Tribe victory to the song they play during the final game in Teen Wolf, “Win in the End”; while Tom Petty’s “Even the Losers” can play after a loss, mocking the opposing team while they’re exchanging handshakes on our home field.

And there we have it, my suggestions for introduction music for the Indians’ Soundtrack of Life 2006.

If there’s anyone I missed, or anyone I whiffed on, let me know.

2 days until pitchers and catchers report. Feels like December 23rd.

Where Music Means Something

As has become the custom around these parts, the first full workout of Spring Training is accompanied by a little ritual called “The Soundtrack of Life”, a detailed explanation of which can be found here. If you don’t want to get too deep into it, just look at it as one man’s humble suggestions for what songs each Indian should bring with them to the plate or the mound down at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario.

After considering embedding all of the videos (now that I know how), I’m bailing on it as it will probably make the page load time quadruple and some of the linked videos aren’t exactly…um…PG. Regardless, the link for each song then is actually on the player and song title.

Without further ado, I hope that you enjoy for “The Soundtrack of Life, v.2009”:
Grady Sizemore – “Superman Theme” by John Williams
Forget humility, forget keeping your head down…it’s time to acknowledge that Grady could, in fact, be a superhero and what better way is there to step to the plate than to the “Superman Theme”?

Mark DeRosa – “The Heart of Rock and Roll” by Huey Lewis and The News
Playing off of the fact that the nickname bestowed on him last year was “The Pulse” (after an irregular heartbeat sent him to the hospital in Spring Training last year), how about embracing the line that all Clevelanders know in this classic from HL&TN…“the heart of Rock and Roll, the heart of Rock and Roll is still beatin’…in Cleveland.”
And the crowd goes wild.

Victor Martinez – “Back in the Saddle” by Aerosmith
Ignore, if you will, that Aerosmith is from Boston and focus instead on Victor marching to the plate to that intro, culminating in the guttural “I’M BACK” from Steven Tyler. After the 2008 that El Capitán went through, I think it’s pretty fitting.

Travis Hafner – “Broken Wings” by Mr. Mister
You can almost hear me screaming from the Mezzanine (AKA Pronkville) for my section’s namesake to “take these broken wings and learn to fly again”.
Please?

Jhonny Peralta – “Easy Like Sunday Morning” by The Commodores
Is it me, or does mellowness just ooze out of Jhonny? What song gets that aura across better than Lionel and the boys just maxin’ and relaxin’?

Shin-Soo Choo – “Choo Choo” by Arctic Monkeys
As much as I enjoyed The BLC coming out to Chamillionaire’s “Ridin’ Dirty” last year, let’s play up the obviousness of his name without devolving into just a train whistle blowing. While I was tempted to incorporate the Quad City DJ’s in here (5 bonus points if you get that without a link) or even the old Big League Chew TV ad, we’ll save those for when he’s bashing doubles off the wall or when he’s gunning runners from RF.

Ryan Garko – “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips
With Victor likely to take AB away from him, with LaPorta in AAA, with Mills and maybe Weglarz in AA, maybe Garko can find some peace from the girls of Wilson Phillips to “hold on for one more day”...while patrolling LF.

Ben Francisco – “Me Against the World” by Tupac
With everyone so intent of replacing The Frisco Kid in LF at some point in 2009, maybe Francisco will take the approach that nobody’s coming to take his spot because he isn’t giving it up.
Certainly would be nice…

Kelly Shoppach – “La Grange” by ZZ Top
The thumper from Fort Worth gets the best guitar riff (in my opinion) from that little outfit from the Lone Star State. What were you expecting, the sound of a ShopVac?

Asdrubal Cabrera – “Abacab” by Genesis
While I’m not at all for the trend in nicknames that simply result from a player’s first and last name (you’ll never see V-Mart in these parts), the similarities between the young Venezuelan’s name and the Genesis anthem are just too striking to pass up.

Jamey Carroll – “Working Man” by Rush
Nothing fancy or exciting about Carroll, who just brings his lunch pail to work and does what the Indians ask of him. Plus the performance by Rush is from a show in Cleveland…3 years before I was even born.

Josh Barfield – “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing” by Jack Johnson
An anthem for the player who figures to be on the team…if not necessarily on the field…or in the batter’s box, with no discernable path back into the Indians’ plans anytime soon.

David Dellucci – “Promise Me You’ll Remember” by Harry Connick, Jr.
Apparently, this is the love theme to “The Godfather 3”, so if The Looch thinks he can keep coming out to the fantastic “Godfather Waltz” after the last couple of years, he has another thing coming. Performances like his 2007 and 2008 don’t give him “The Godfather Waltz”, they give him this.

Andy Marte – “Whipping Post” by The Allman Brothers Band
No, Andy’s not going to see an AB with the Indians to make this happen, but this HAS to be how he was feeling over the past year, watching Jamey Carroll take playing time away from him.
Whipping Post…Bench…call it what you like.

C.P. Lee – “When the Levee Breaks” by Led Zeppelin
The methodical drumming of John Bonham at the beginning of this song just reminds me of the workmanlike approach that Clifton (a Zeppelin fan) takes to hammering the strike zone. All I can think of with each pound by Bonham is another strike hitting Shoppach’s glove.

Fausto Carmona – “Hold On Loosely” by 38 Special
After reading Victor’s quote in the Buster Olney piece earlier this week that Fausto has ridiculously filthy stuff when he’s not trying (actually SPECIFICALLY when he’s not really trying too hard), I first thought that some song by Enya or the like should play when The Focused One takes the mound…you know, to relax him. But this is Cleveland, man, Where Music Means Something, the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (despite not really having any real native Clevelanders who qualify as “rock legends”…Michael Stanley doesn’t count), the place where “Born to Run” is played (somewhat ironically) at 5PM on Fridays on MULTIPLE radio stations. We can’t have Enya playing at the ballpark, particularly when Fausto’s going.
Thus, the 38 Special Anthem to remind him that “if you cling to tightly…you’re going to lose it…you’re going to lose control.”

Anthony Reyes – “Dani California” by Red Hot Chili Peppers
The USC product gets to bring some Left Coast to the North Coast, along with his flat bill and socks.

Carl Pavano – “Fragile” by Sting
Sure, it’s a dig and about as far as you can get from an intimidating song or one that inspires confidence…but isn’t that kind of the point?

Aaron Laffey – “Crazy Game of Poker” by O.A.R.
In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been sitting on this one for about a year, ever since I saw that Laffey’s favorite band (in the 2008 Media Guide at least) is O.A.R., a band with some Ohio roots that developed a following when I was in college and has matured nicely since then.
If you’re not familiar with it, sit through the intro in the link as “Crazy Game of Poker” is a pretty great song, particularly for the end of a wedding reception. Just trust me that it is.

Jake Westbrook – “Rearviewmirror” by Pearl Jam
Let’s see…since signing his contract extension with the Indians, Jake has started all of 30 games in two seasons and doesn’t figure to come back (optimistically) until after the All-Star Break. Think he’s trying to look ahead, instead of behind him?

Jeremy Sowers – “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” – U2
Extra velocity, maybe a change-up, maybe better location?
At this point, who knows if Sowers v.2006 will ever come back, but this is a pretty good guess at what he’s thinking.

Zach Jackson – “Friends Forever” by Zack Attack
While the clip doesn’t show the actual Zack Attack lip-synching performance of “Friends Forever” (I simply can’t find it though the montage is pretty sweet), just know that this is the whole basis for Zach Jackson being called Zach Attack…an episode of “Saved By The Bell”.

Dave Huff – “The Next Episode” by Dr. Dre
The tallest whitecap at the forefront of the next “wave of arms” coming from the Minors merits Snoop and Dre being played over the speakers at Progressive Field…cleaned up of course.

Kerry Wood – “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent
While I’ve heard that Wood has came out to “Welcome to the Jungle” while with the Cubs, it’s time for him to distance himself from Eric Gagne, Jim Rome, and Axl Rose in one fell swoop. Coming out to this little ditty, “here I come again now, baby…”

Jensen Lewis – “The Stomp” by The Hives
Embracing the notion that Jensen Lewis should be called “Stomp” because of the violence that is his left leg hitting the mound in his follow-through, here’s a nice little riff from the soundtrack of Guy Ritchie’s “RocknRolla” by The Hives.

Rafael Perez – “Icky Thump” by The White Stripes
For the player who was perhaps the most consistently dominant performer for the Indians’ pitching staff (outside of a guy whose season merited some hardware), it’s time for him to get a solid guitar riff to accompany him in from the pen.
Jack White…at your service.

Rafael Betancourt – “Night Court Theme” by Jack Elliot
If the Indians are truly embracing this whole “Court Is In Session” for Rocky, let’s at least hold off on that dominance comes along with it, at least for a little bit. Instead, how about some nice horns and a quick blast from the past with Harry, Dan, Bull, and the gang.

Joe Smith – “Right Now” by Van Halen
Truthfully, I know very little about Joe Smith other than that he thrives as a RHP against RH batters. In lieu of any real other information and having never seen him then, a song with the word “right” in it is as good as I’ve got.

Masa Kobayashi – “Handle With Care” by The Traveling Wilburys
Assuming that Masa has no idea what the name of this song is (and “Handle With Care” is not exactly a line that you even pick up as Tom, Roy, George, and Bob sing), it should be fine to play as a warning that Kobayashi’s usage for 2009 should be closely monitored after we saw what happened in 2009. As a bonus, here’s a cover of the song by Jenny Lewis (no, not the one that sits in the bullpen with Masa) and Feist, which is also pretty solid.

Adam Miller – “Back in Black” by AC/DC
Yes, it’s presumptuous given that some of this is based on reports from the Dominican Winter League; but, he’s back and instead of easing him into the bullpen as an intimidating presence coming to the mind, let’s just dispense with the politeness and let the guitar blast.

Fire up iTunes and get your own mix going for home…these are already added in mine.

The Sound of Music

While the tradition has always been to celebrate the first full workout of Spring Training with a little ritual called “The Soundtrack of Life” (and a detailed explanation of which can be found here). Since sometimes life gets in the way of the best-laid plans, after a bit of a delay, I thought that Opening Day being just a few days away presented a nice opportunity to finally roll this out as the edges of the 25-man roster are finally reconciled.

If you’re not familiar with the concept (or didn’t feel like using the link above), simply take this as one man’s humble suggestions for what songs each Indian should bring with them to the plate or the mound down at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario. If you’re interested in years past, here are the suggestions for 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009…and, to my knowledge, none of them to date have been used by any player at any time.

In determining who was “worthy” of such thought and work, guys like Jamey Wright and the like don’t interest me in as much that I don’t think that they’ll make huge contributions for 2010 (or at least I hope they don’t) and as much as I'd like to drop some obvious Carlos Santana (the guitarist) reference in for a certain stud catcher, I’m going to keep this limited to guys that look to have a chance to break camp with the team and project as more than just organizational filler.

As always the names of the songs link to the songs, whether it be in YouTube format or something called iLike, which I was not aware of. Regardless, without further ado…I present the 2010 Soundtrack of Life:
Asdrubal Cabrera
“Swagga Like Us” – T.I. and Jay-Z
If there would be one word to describe the way that Asdrubal carries himself around the diamond, the basepaths, and the batter box – I would choose “swagger”, or it’s familial relation, “swagga”. With Asdrubal sitting at the top of the lineup, this little ditty from some hip-hop heavyweights would project some confidence for the team right off the bat…because some early leads would be nice this season, given the fragile state of the rotation.

Grady Sizemore
“I’ll Be Your Man” – The Black Keys
Go ahead, get all of the picture-related suggestions out of your system…“Centerfold” by J. Geils, “Photograph” by Def Leppard, and so on and so forth. For me, I’ll go with the band that (hopefully) reminds Grady that something cool and soulful can still emerge from the North Coast. With Patrick Carney laying down the beat and Dan Auerbach growling out the lyrics, this duo from Akron continues to set the standard for blues-rock. The fact that they’re the biggest band to emerge from Northeast Ohio since…Devo(?) is not something to focus on here. That would be the riff, oh…and the fact that this is the theme song to HBO’s series “Hung”.
See, you didn’t think I'd leave that one alone, did you?

The BLC
“No Leaf Clover” – Metallica
As Choo calmly strides to the plate, about to inflict the damage that we’ve come to expect, an apropos line would be James Hetfield screaming that “then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, it’s just a freight train coming your way”.
American League, don’t be fooled by the subdued demeanor of the Indians’ RF, just get ready for the “freight train coming your way”.

Travis Hafner
“No Easy Way Out” – Robert Tepper
In Rocky IV, one of the defining moments of the movie occurs as Rocky goes for a night drive after Apollo has been killed in the ring, with flashes of Drago killing Apollo and Drago yelling at the Rock, as the soundtrack screams in the background. Watching the montage, you can’t help but think that Rocky has some unfinished business in front of him as he’s destined to avenge the recent events that have shaped his life and perhaps his legacy.
Everybody knows this scene, right…so, why is this relevant?

If I may make a suggestion to someone with some skills in creating videos (perhaps if they were employed at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario all the better), a montage should be made for Hafner to be played before every at-bat based loosely upon that very scene in which he looks around Jacobs Field, as images of him grounding out weakly to the pitcher or slamming his bat down in disgust are interspersed and accompanied by the same song that ultimately drove Rocky to Russia to train.

When (or is it “if”) Pronk returns in all of his glory, we can talk about a Hafner montage with “Burning Heart” or “Hearts on Fire” in the background, but in Hafner’s current situation, we’re going with “No Easy Way Out”.

Jhonny Peralta
“September” – Earth, Wind and Fire
Way back in Fall of 2007 (if anyone can still remember those halcyon days), the best player for the Indians happened to be one Mr. Jhonny Peralta, when he had 5 doubles and 2 HR in the 11 Indians’ playoff games. His 8 RBI in the ALCS against Boston is likely to represent the high point of Jhonny’ career as an Indian as his phenomenal 2005 season at the age of 23 looks to be just a tease in the entire body of work. Yes, I know that all the games were in October, but is there a more fitting way to say goodbye to Jhonny and to the feelings of that 2007 season than to sing along to Earth, Wind, and Fire as they sing…
“Say do you remember…dancing in September…never was a cloudy day…”

Matt LaPorta
“Spaceman” – The Killers
With the introduction of the term “LaPortaisms” into our greater vocabulary, I thought that a nod to another…um, “quirky” MLB player was in order as homage to Bill “Spaceman” Lee could provide LaPorta’s walk-out music. With LaPorta providing fodder like “Is it bad that I’m dehydrated in one leg?” and “It comes naturally. I just have to think about it”, LaPorta’s…um, quirkiness harkens back to the days of Bill “Spaceman” Lee uncorking beauties like “The only rule I got is if you slide, get up”, leading to The Killers providing the accompaniment for LaPorta, a suggestion that he actually may be interested in.

Luis Valbuena
“Chaconne de M. Couperin” – Louis Couperin
Since the only time that Roman Numerals are used anymore are in the designation of the Super Bowl, maybe now would be a good time to explain again that the nickname evolution for Valbuenan goes that Luis V. begat Louie the Fifth, or in some instances, Louie the Slugger. With the introduction of the French monarchy to the corner of Carnegie and Ontario, the walking music would almost have to be something that recalled the indulgent days of Versailles, even if those days would come some 650 years after the real King Louis V.

Russell Branyan
“Money for Nothing” – Dire Straits
Not sure much explanation is needed here, other than to say that I don’t think that this music is going to be heard too frequently at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario this season, hence the song selection.

Lou Marson
“Use Somebody” – Kings of Leon
With Carlos Santana’s defense not-quite-ready-for-primetime, it would be nice if the Indians could “Use Somebody”. You know that they could “Use Somebody” to be used as a bridge to fill in until Santana’s ultimate ascension to the team.
Wait for it - “Somebody like…Lou”

Michael Brantley
“Rebirth of Slick” – Digable Planets
With the service time issue still hanging over his head, has Mike Brantley ever projected more than a care in the world over whether this whole thing would take care itself? Seeing Brantley come up last season and handle himself similarly, is it time to assume that Brantley preternatural maturity just be a by-product that he’s “Cool Like Dat”?

Andy Marte
“Hanginaround” – Counting Crows
Want to know which of the current Indians pre-date Marte, who received his first AB with Cleveland on Opening Day of 2006?
4 – Sizemore, Peralta, Hafner, and Westbrook.
“I’ve been bummin’ around this old town for way, way, way, way too looooooooong.”

Trevor Crowe
“Far Behind” – Candlebox
Turn back the page to 1994 when, as an impressionable youth, I was happy to pin my hopes on any “Next Big Thing” that came along in the grunge genre (or anything that came close to it), buying into the long-term potential of bands like Silverchair, Bush, Collective Soul, and of course, Candlebox. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago when a local station played Candlebox’s biggest hit, “Far Behind”. Hearing this remnant of the mid-1990s music scene, I found the song ill-suited for human ears and immediately embarrassed at the way that I could be so wrong about Candlebox, lo those many years ago. For whatever reason, this station kept the song in heavy rotation (yes, I know satellite radio and podcasts are the way to go) and every time that I heard the first few notes in the ensuing weeks, the song depressed me as it morphed into becoming emblematic of some of the misplaced hope and optimism of my youth.

Why is this relevant?
Trevor Crowe, the alleged “future lead-off hitter” whom Red Sox scouts once called “Ty Cobb” and who has since revealed himself to be…well, Trevor Crowe – he is my “Far Behind” of the Indians of the mid-to-late-2000s. That stretch of time when unreasonable hopes were pinned on lesser prospects because of draft placement and organizational hype is symbolized by one Trevor Crowe. The more I am reminded of this lesson in the context of the Indians and prospects, the better.
Just let me tell you about this Jason Kipnis kid…

Jake Westbrook
“Alive” – Pearl Jam
Want to know how many MLB pitchers have thrown more than the 34 2/3 innings that Westbrook has accumulated over the last two years?
562 MLB pitchers have thrown more innings than Westbrook (who ekes out Jason Davis’ two-year total by 2 outs), with 19 Indians among those 562, including Edward Mujica...no, seriously. Despite all this, Westbrook is still “Alive” and rumors of his demise look to be false as he is, by nearly all accounts, fully healthy and looks to be ready to contribute his middle-of-the-rotation production…albeit at the top-of-the-rotation.

Fausto Carmona
“Control” – Janet Jackson
Since it is tradition to include at least one song that appeared on the original “NBA Superstars” video, we’ll go with the song that signaled the dawn of a new day for Janet Jackson. Thus, not only is the time for the “dawn of a new day” overdue for the Faustastic One, and if the “Control” that he’s shown in Arizona is any indication, that day may finally be arriving.
Plus, “NBA Superstars”…Magic Johnson, how can you not like this?

Justin Masterson
“Come Find Yourself” – Fun Lovin’ Criminals
For the pitcher whose role (not roster spot) on the team would be the least defined going forward, a little self-evaluation may be in order. As much as I'd like to go with “Get In Where You Fit In” by Too $hort (on an album that I think I actually have somewhere), I’m going to guess that the son of a minister is Southwest Ohio is not a huge fan of Too $hort.

Dave Huff
“Plush” – Stone Temple Pilots
Not to go all Cliff Clavin here, but it’s…a…eh…little known fact that Dave Huff went to the same high school as Scott Weiland of STP and Velvet Revolver fame. While perhaps Huff could benefit from some Gaylord Perry “Vaseline”, I’m going with the classic STP anthem and “wait for tomorrow” on the potential of Huff in the rotation.

Mitch Talbot
Unleash the Fury scene from “Road Trip”
As much as I'd like to go with “Papered Up”, which is the song that Snoop Dogg performs in the movie “Old School” during Mitch-A-Palooza, I’m eschewing the song in the traditional sense here and going with just the intermittent strumming of Tom Green on a single guitar string, instructing the snake to “Unleash the Fury” on an unsuspecting rodent.

Aaron Laffey
“The Underdog” – Spoon
Those sad eyes, that baby face and his slight build almost cast Laffey as the role of the underdog, where he’s perpetually overlooked for something that is bigger, faster, and (hopefully) better. Heading into 2010, he seems to be filling that spot again as The Babyfaced Bulldog will start the season in the bullpen and while he may not stay there for long, guarantees have never come Laffey’s way with the Indians.

Chris Perez
“Black Betty” – Ram Jam
Yes, I know that the real theme song for “Eastbound and Down” is “Going Down” by Freddie King, but the closing credits of the pilot for the show has Kenny (um…Firetruckin’) Powers riding a jet ski to the beat and cymbals that set the tone for this classic. If CFP (that’s Chris…Firetruckin’ Perez) is going to endear himself to the 98.5 WNCX crowd that still looks forward to “Born to Run” at 5 PM every Friday (and really, who doesn’t despite the ironic lyrics being loved in Cleveland), then going with a rock anthem is the route to go. As much as I'd like to go with the extended version of The Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane” because CFP went to the University of Miami, that still belongs to John Rocker – and I was sitting in the Mezz, watching him running maniacally out of the bullpen in his debut appearance to the adoring crowd, in what was possibly the greatest entrance I’ve ever seen. Additionally, let’s keep the Kenny Powers/John Rocker comparison to Chris Perez on the fictional side of the ledger.

Kerry Wood
“Here Today, Gone Tomorrow” – The Ramones
The day is coming (probably sometime in July) when the Indians are going to sit down with Wood and initiate the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation as the inevitable break-up is coming. It shouldn’t be a surprise and it shouldn’t be unexpected as the only questions that still remain are whether Wood will be healthy enough to trade and which NL Central team (not based in Chicago) will acquire him at the Trading Deadline to twist the knife in the open wound of Cubs’ fans everywhere.

Rafael Perez
“Fistful of Steel” – Rage Against the Machine
A long time ago in what feels like a galaxy far, far away, Rafael Perez made up the ½ of the famous bullpen combination of “Fist of Iron”/“Fist of Steel” with Rafael Betancourt. Legend had it that the bullpen boasted “one fist of iron, the other of steel / if the right one don’t get you then the left one will”. If anything can be gleaned from Spring Training (it usually can’t), Rafael Perez as the “Fist of Steel” may be making his way back to the North Coast. While that may constitute wishful thinking, a bullpen without that “Fist of Steel” may not be that much different than the ones since that nickname was bestowed on The Two Rafaels in 2007.

Tony Sipp
“On the Vista” – Blakroc
While Sipp’s long-term importance to the Indians’ bullpen is obvious as a potential back-end of the bullpen LHP, his actual effectiveness may be somewhere off in the future or, “On the Vista” if you will. Plus, working in as many tunes by The Black Keys (and this is their collaboration with Mos Def) is obviously on the agenda.

Joe Smith
Sidewinder – Avenged Sevenfold
Joe Smith is a sidearming RHP so….yeah, I don’t know that much about Joe Smith either.

Finally, with the news that Jeremy Sowers has been optioned off of the 40-man roster, it likely prevents Sowers stepping out to what will heretofore be known as the “Ryan Garko Memorial Song”, (and Garko was just waived by the Mariners). That song would be, of course, “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips.
Sowers, like Garko before him, could not hold on for one more day and, thus things did not go his way.

Little different feel to a Lazy Sunday this weekend, so enjoy the tunage above and sync up your iPods with the proper music listed so, if nothing else, you can make your own “walk-in” music for the players from the comfort of your home…or at least your mother’s basement.

Music Fills the Air

As has become the custom around these parts, to celebrate the first full practice in Spring Training, it’s time for a bit of an exercise in frivolity with the 3rd Annual Soundtrack of Life suggestions for the 2008 Cleveland Indians. For those who missed the concept and the past years, they can be found here and here. Again, for those who are new, the song title will link to the song.

Essentially, it boils down to recommendations for each player (or at least the ones that figure to play a major role in 2008) for accompaniment music.
Walking music, we used to call it.

So, without further ado, I present The Soundtrack of Life, 2008 edition:
Grady Sizemore
Barracuda
The frenetic opening riff from Nancy Wilson accurately sets the tone for the style of play that we all know that our SuperSizemore brings to the plate, the basepaths, and (quite obviously) center field. The fact that Sizemore, like the Wilson Sisters of Heart, is from the Seattle area and St. Grady is an avowed classic rock enthusiast put this one on the hook for Sizemore.

Asdrubal Cabrera
Youth Gone Wild
While certainly none of us hope that AstroCab hits “Skid Row” this year, the precocious youngster gets the ‘80s rock anthem in lieu of the DiaBride’s suggestion of the theme song to “The Young and the Restless”, which I know only from Jack Butler’s obsession with the show in “Mr. Mom”.
“No, it couldn’t be Victor’s – he had a vasectomy…it didn’t take?!?”

Travis Hafner
Man in the Mirror
Due to shock that you’re feeling after expecting some sort of heavy metal/German rock music, allow me to explain - after last season, it’s time for some introspection for the man trying to find his inner Pronk, something that was missing all of 2007. Travis, it’s time to take a look at that man in the mirror and…make that change.

Victor Martinez
The Warrior
The most oft-overlooked part of the Tribe as he tends to be taken for granted for his consistently excellent play, it’s time to recognize Vic the Stick for what he is. He dons the tools of ignorance about five times a week, anchors the middle of the lineup, handles the pitching staff, and leads the Indians by his actions and by his toughness. While some could say this is simply an opportunity to watch the Charles Barkley “Superstars” video that shares Vic’s anthem…you’re only partly right. By the way, Chuck makes one shot that ISN’T a dunk in the complilation…and that’s the one when he goes by 5 Portland Trail Blazers! Lest anyone ever think the Clown Prince of TNT has no room to talk, just watch this over and over.
But I digress…

Ryan Garko
Welcome to the Jungle
After hearing Garko on the “Jim Rome Show” last season, when Garko-my-God-did-you-see-how-far-he-hit-that professed his love for all things “Jungle”-related (to the uninformed, Rome refers to his show as “The Jungle”), this is just too easy. Sure, it was funny when he came out to “This is Why I’m Hot” last year, but it’s time to excite the masses Gonnie Garko. Axl and Slash in all of their destructive glory is a good way to start.

Dellichaels
Together Forever
With LF committed to the platoon of David Dellucci and Jason Michaels (Dellichaels, because the entity needs no first name), these two are inexorably linked…for better or worse. Like the Rick Astley song, not many people like the arrangement and feel that a more credible alternative should be explored. Plus, I hope that Dellichaels is remembered with harmless curiosity in a few years the way that Rick Astley is, as opposed to the vitriol that he normally brings about.

Casey Blake
One
The Beard has come out to a Metallica song every year that he’s been with the Tribe (even when he was just The Jaw), he wears #1, and he probably is on the last legs of his time here due to his escalating salary. So let’s avoid the potshots or any thoughts about RISP and enjoy the drum solo.

Franklin Gutierrez
Smooth Operator
There’s just something so fluid about the way that Frank the Tank carries himself to the plate, around the basepaths, and patrolling the outfield that it’s impossible not to think of the cat as a pretty slick character. I know that everyone was hoping for the old Will Ferrell impersonation of a Panzer, but YouTube is populated with nothing but imitators of the classic scene, so Sade gets the nod.

Jhonny Peralta
I Can See Clearly Now
As Jhonny tells me on Cleveland radio all the time, he sees “better than 20/20” these days thanks to his Lasik surgery. How could I not go here with the man’s improved vision? Next year, I’m hoping for something like “I Get to Every Groundball Hit to Me”…is that even a song?

Andy Marte
One More Try
That’s right, the Timmy T version. Out of options and staring at a roster with no certain spot for him, it’s time for “The Dominican Dandy” to live up to the nickname that was bestowed what feels like many, many moons ago. Watching that video, are we sure that’s not Andy Samberg?

C.C. Sabathia
Last Dance
Sorry if you don’t want to see this one and would prefer that “Mo Money, Mo Problems” remained as C.C.’s theme, but it’s time to enjoy one final twirl with the Big Fella before he heads off our dance floor.

Fausto Carmona
Runnin’ with the Devil
For those not well versed in what a “Faustian Dilemma” is, it represents a deal with devil, explaining why the crazy licks of Eddie Van Halen’s guitar should augment the Tribe’s burgeoning ace to the mound. I really wanted to use “The Wickedest Man Alive” by Naughty by Nature due to the fact that Fausto’s stuff is just filthy, but it seems that outside of a few suburban kids on the East Side of Cleveland in the late 1980’s, the song never really found too much of an audience. Regardless, here’s a snippet.

Jake Westbrook
Rock Steady
Outside of the first half of 2007, when Jake was undone by that weasel of an oblique strain, he has been nothing short of the model of consistency in the middle of the Tribe’s rotation. And that…ladies and gentlemen, earns him these two guys singing some Bad Company at a bar I wish to visit.

Paul Byrd
I Want a New Drug
While “Free Bird” is the obvious choice (Byrd has a book coming out with a similar title this year), I was unable to secure the rights to the southern rock anthem from Lynard Skynard, who suggested that I use “Free Chicken” instead. Afraid that it may be misinterpreted as complimentary poultry for the masses, I’ll take the opportunity to address the fact that Paul Byrd claims to have used HGH to treat a pituitary gland problem, but stopped using the drug years ago. The question becomes, then, what exactly is he taking to remedy the pituitary issue?

Cliff Lee
Hair of the Dog
Not sure if the refrain was uttered by the native Arkansan to Victor in the tunnel in their infamous “dust-up” last season, but various reports and stories have certainly painted Mr. Five and (f)Lee as a bit of a, well…

Joe Borowski
Livin’ on the Edge
Pretty self-explanatory here, for anyone who went through multiple bottles of Pepto and ate Tums like they were Spree during JoeBo’s tightrope saves last year. I do appreciate the fact that The Big Borowski comes out to a “Rocky” montage as he hails from the same hometown (Bayonne, NJ) as boxer Chuck Wepner (known as the “Bayonne Bleeder”) the alleged inspiration for Sly Stallone to pen “Rocky”, but there’s something about acknowledging that Borowski lives on the edge that appeals to me.

Rafael Betancourt
People’s Court Theme Song
If the Indians are intent on fostering this “Betancourt is in Session” theme (and they certainly seem to be) when Senor Slo-Mo enters the game, at least add some levity to it by adding the music that we all grew so familiar with thanks to Wapner, Rusty, and Llewelyn. The song is pretty great too.

Rafael Perez
Rain on the Scarecrow
For the reliever who looks like he’s about 130 lbs. soaking wet (take it from one who knows), Perez has the look, in his seemingly two sizes too big Tribe uniform, of a Scarecrow – all skinny arms and skinny legs. The fabric of his uniform just flaps in the breeze for lack of anything to cover, but protecting (in this case a Tribe lead)…just like any good Scarecrow does.

Masa Kobayashi
Usual Suspects Theme
“My Name Is Kobayashi”…then, the strings.
That’s all that should accompany the Japanese import to the mound.

Jensen Lewis
Rise Up with Fists
A bit of an obscure title from the indie rock artist Jenny Lewis, performing with the Watson Twins…which is inconsequential, outside of the similar name for the artist and the young hurler. Of course, the most important thing you need to know about the singer Jenny Lewis…the one that sings this song…is that she appeared as a child actor in the movie “The Wizard”. Yes, the one you’re thinking of – the Fred Savage movie about video games where his younger brother is some sort of video game prodigy. You remember her, the little redhead in the flick who volleyed back and forth the way that Winnie Cooper did with Kevin Arnold. I know that’s probably the last thing she wants to be known for (everyone knows Fergie was in “Kids Incorporated”, right?), but it served as the clincher for this song to be Jensen’s music.

Strike up the band, boys…Spring has officially sprung.

Standing at the Edge of Happiness

So much happening, so little time.
Ken Rosenthal lists the Indians among the big winners this off-season, then throws the Rockies’ Jamey Carroll as a name to remember for the Tribe utility spot.

Next, the Tribe signs Cliff Politte, adding another arm to the bullpen mix, further clouding the 7th bullpen spot battle.
But there’s plenty of time for analysis and roster breakdown. Trust me, lots more coming.

For now, let’s celebrate some frivolity.
Why?
Because…we made it.

Pitchers and Catchers report tomorrow and all is good in the world, despite shoveling all day long. As a bit of a reward, here’s the latest round of the popular “Soundtrack of Life” to further whet your palate.

In case you’re new to the site, here’s last year’s edition, which essentially makes suggestions as to the entrance music for Tribe players. I was able to link them to YouTube clips (although Viacom’s wishes made it an exercise in creativity), so you can click on the player and song title’s name to hear the song in case you aren’t familiar.

And with that introduction out of the way, away we go:
Sizemore – Superhero
Not only does Grady lead a charmed life, like the boys in “The Adventures of Ari Gold”…I mean “Entourage”, but he’s developing a Vinnie Chase-like following with the ladies. The fact that the song is called “Superhero” fits the SuperSizemore persona and I could see him hanging with Turtle, E, and Johnny Drama over a few Dortmunders at Great Lakes.

Dellichaels – Endless Love
Two hearts…two hearts that beat as one. As Dellucci and Michaels try to combine do the work of one man by platooning in LF, one can only think of Diana and Lionel. Or the two in the video linked, which is a must-watch.

Pronk – Bulls on Parade
Regardless of whether Hafner in the field is like a bull in a china shop, have you ever seen the big guy walk up to the Batter’s Box? He’s like a bull, lowering his head, charging toward another extra-base hit. Plus, the guitar riff from Rage rules.

Victor – My Hips Don’t Lie
Since the salsa song that The Stick’s been coming out to for the past few years has become tiresome, it’s time to get some different Latin flavor for him. Since I recently found out that Jon Secada is no longer considered “HOT” in the Latin scene, it gave me an excuse to do some searches of Shakira…hours later, I give you the linked treat.

Blake – Seven Nation Army
The White Stripes’ simple opening riff on this one can get you fired up for just about anything. The addition of the drums is simple and amazing. All of that aside, I would have Casey (the Wichita State Shocker) come out to the verse starting, “I went to Wichita…”

Nixon – Rambo Theme
If Lou Merloni can come out to “The Godfather” score (and he did), then Trotman can come out to the memorable “First Blood” score (the horns in the clip, not the song). I’ll go with that or that classic exchange between Richard Crenna and Brian Dennehy regarding the availability of body bags in the Pacific Northwest.

Marte – Andy, You’re a Star
As long as they don’t play the line after “Andy, You’re a Star” from The Killers (which is “…in nobody’s eyes but yours”), it works for the Dominican Dandy.

Peralta – My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me
I like to think that last year’s regression for Jhonny was between his ears and easily fixed. Perhaps after waving at another breaking ball low and away he would go home to “sit alone in a four-corner room staring at candles”. Oh, that thing is on?

Barfield – Numb/Encore
Still one of the all-time faves, particularly the version from the 2006 Grammys. Hopefully Barfield won’t succumb to a Peraltaesque sophomore slump and provide us with an encore of his rookie season…because we do want more.

Garko – Tuff Enuff
Chosen because it has to be the question that Garko asks himself after producing on the ML level (45 RBI in 50 games) and hearing that he still needs to earn his roster spot, mainly for defensive purposes. Though I can't find the old “NBA Superstars” video, which included some classic Mark Price highlights, the linked video is pretty good, particularly with the Bateman siblings cameo.

Sabathia – Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems
Hopefully, whenever the ol’ Crooked Cap takes the bump, he’ll allow the words of Puff and Biggie (or these guys in the video) to seep in and forget about that big payday that’s coming in the fall of 2008. Hopefully, he’ll realize that he has it pretty good on the North Coast (when people aren’t booing him without reason or questioning the Hefty Lefty’s conditioning), and sign on that dotted line. We can dream…can’t we?

Lee – Finish What You Started
The master of the “5 and Fly” needs to heed the words from the Red Rocker and give the Indians a little more than his standard 6th inning meltdown. A complete game may be too much to ask, but maybe pitching into the 7th…or dare I say, the 8th?

Westbrook – State of Love and Trust
Like Carsten Charles, a song focusing on some level of comfort to keep him in the friendly confines of the Jake for a few more years can accompany Westbrook during his warm-up. If he comes out to Pink Floyd’s “Money”, I’ll start to explore trade options myself.

Sowers – Footprints by Miles Davis
Like the smoothness and unpredictability of Miles, Sowers makes beautiful music on the mound – even if you can’t figure out how he makes it so beautiful. Last year, Sowers was be-bopping and scatting all over the American League, using a plan of keeping everyone guessing as the basis of his genius. I don’t know if the kid from St. Clairsville is quite the epitome of cool yet, but his quiet demeanor and success certainly give an air of confidence from the mound.

Byrd – Time Intro by Pink Floyd
The ringing bells and ticking clocks that lead into the song will serve as a subtle reminder that there are arms in AAA vying to take his place if he starts 2007 like he did in 2006 – slowly. Tick, tock…tick, tock.

Foulke – Leash
I know that he comes out to Danzig’s “Mother”, but the fact that Eddie sings about him in this PJ tune makes the cut. You know that part - “Drop the Leash, Drop the Leash…Get Out of Keith’s Foulkin’ Face”.
Wait, what does he say then?

Borowski – Just Dropped In
How the fact that Borowski’s name is only 3 letters off that of Jeff Daniels’ classic character of “The Dude” evaded me for this long is surprising. But the mellifluous tones of Kenny Rogers can accompany The Big Borowski to the mound. A video screen showing flying bowling pins and Bob the Beer Guy bringing me a Caucasian in the Mezzanine would complete the perfection.

Cabrera – Slow Ride
It has been a slow ride for Cabrera to fulfill his potential as the future closer of the club. So, until he captures that magic in his right arm and translates it into the 9th inning, he is cursed with “Slow Ride”.

Betancourt – Patience
Tug the cap…adjust the sleeve…tug the cap…look in for the sign…tug the cap…reposition the jock…tug the cap…blow in the hand…tug the cap.
You get the idea.

The players aren’t alone in their need for some tone-setting tunes.
Here’s what I would suggest at certain times in ballgames:
Going into the 9th Inning behind – Win in the End
That’s right, if Scott Howard (as Scott Howard and not the Wolf) can beat Mick’s team, isn’t anything possible? Please click the link for one of the greatest MySpace pages ever.

After a Loss – Even the Losers
Think of the other team, congratulating each other on the field, when someone finally stops, listens, and asks, “Are they really playing this?” The look on those jerks’ faces would be worth the price of admission.

After a Win – Another One Bites the Dust
How great would it be if the Atomic Wedgie leapt out of the dugout to congratulate the team, taking his Tribe jacket off to reveal...the same yellow tank top that Freddie Mercury wears in the clip? Well, pretty great.

Spring Training is here and we have lots to discuss.
For now, in the immortal words of Clark W. Griswold, “we made it, dammit, we made it.”