Sunday, May 08, 2005

What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports?!?

After watching another roller-coaster save by Wickman on Friday (spirits high), I get to return to Cleveland after two abysmal outings by the Wahoo Warriors. Before I start a complete overhaul as a knee-jerk reaction, I'm going to sleep on it and think about what I think is wrong with the 2005 Tribe and what can be done to fix it, which will be forthcoming.

So, with that in mind, and with Ryan Drese throwing a 6-hit shutout on Saturday night, I thought that I would recall one of my favorite stories.

To set the scene, for my bachelor party, myself and about 20 other guys sat in the bleachers for a Saturday game with thoughts of hitting every watering hole in sight after the game before retiring for the evening. While watching the game, my buddy TB mentions to the group that Ryan Drese (who was pitching that day for the Tribe) is his second cousin on his mom's side. He says that his mom has invited Drese (who hails from California and was spending his first year in Cleveland) over to the house for a family dinner; a nice offer which Drese had not yet taken up. TB tells us (as Drese is getting shelled) that he thinks he met Drese once or twice, but not recently. The conversation is forgotten until later...much later.

Fast forward to the Shooters' deck, about 1:00 AM. TB runs over to us to tell us that Drese just came in with some other guy and they're hanging out. I convince TB to go over to him and introduce himself. "What's the worst that could happen?", I ask him, telling him that I'll go so it doesn't look too gay (while it actually probably made it look MUCH more gay). TB sidles up to Drese, who looks annoyed that someone not wearing a halter top has come within 5 feet of him. And the exchange:

TB-Ryan! My name's Tim. I'm your second cousin. My mom and your mom are cousins!

Long pause.


Long pause.

TB- So...nothing.

TB walks away red-faced and fuming, tosses his full beer across the deck cursing like I've never seen him curse before. I'm dying to know what happened in the conversation, which TB plays back for me. Drese is called every name in the book when word spreads of the encounter. About fifteen minutes later, TB is still visibly upset. I tell him not to worry about it, that Drese is a prick, and who cares? TB's classic response, "I don't care that he blew me off. If my mom ever found out that Ryan is a jerk it would break her heart." TB didn't tell his mom for a few years, for fear hurting his mom's feelings.

Apropos on Mother's Day. Always thinking of mom.

Speaking of which...Happy Mother's Day to Nikki Addington, who miraculously gave birth to a 10+ pound baby (Gavin Thomas) BEFORE her due date.

Drese is still a prick, though. More on the Tribe in the next DiaTribe.


Cy Slapnicka said...

he shoulda said, "so if i knocked your mom up, there being a blood relation and all, do you think our kids would ride the short bus?" now that woulda been sweet. course, you never think of those awesome lines when the spotlight is on you, a la costanza and the jerk store.

based on what a dick drese is, your boy TB has his kids' college paid for.

Anonymous said...

i know it is still a little too early to completely panic, but there is the chance that last year's offense was the result of career years by at least 3 players (lawton, blake, belliard) and we didn't realize how great omar was...betweeen the tribe's record(twins and sox on fire), evil kinieval jerk ass, and the endless stream of assholes i talk to who are convinced lebron is gone after this contract i need some support group (livingston's article today was a good start)

Anonymous said...

for obvious reasons jerkoff drese's complete game last night will go down as my worst loss of the 2005 season to date. what a c*******er.

your boy elarton really has me ticked. although i'm still confident the team as a whole will bounce back, we've got to put this guy out of his misery. we've got a few guys off to great starts in AAA including cruceta, tallet and even this steve watson guy. who unfortunately isnt off to a great start in buffalo is guthrie, ooooofa (1-4, 9.78 ERA and opponents hitting .310 off him). also, b-phil hitting .231.

just updated the softball site finally, the BB squad is off to a 1-1 start. should be linked if you click on my name here.

Cy Slapnicka said...

tb, i hit your site to check it out, i like the carmen picture. and the out of boredom and lack of love for my employer i decided to spend the rest of my day at ATC's site. My god, what an awful marketing tool for them. You've got one good looking bartender, a gay-awful former Browns QB, and a bunch of women that lead me to believe the ugly tree shows no mercy. One of the pictures I even caught myself flinching and jumping back in my chair, the girl on the left that looks like Elway....the picture after the one with the guy in the Reds jersey.

Now, when i used to live in lakewood i remember there usually being a lot of hot chicks there. So I imagine that they just weren't selective enough? Or maybe they are trying to say "hey, we're an average bar, for the average guy who is realistic in his taste for women"? but that doesn't get people in the door...not that they need to lure people there. but then why even have the picture section? anyway, here's the link for convenience: