Sunday, March 25, 2007

Lazy Sunday with a Bitterman

After actually watching SNL with Peyton Manning last night, let’s all remember why Lazy Sunday is Lazy Sunday.

On with the show:
Sheldon Ocker revisits the Garko v. Francisco debate, if it is even a debate.

Ocker also throws his pessimism on the praise being heaped on the Indians by the national media. Ocker doesn’t agree that the Indians have a shot at the Central, much less the AL, saying that those writers “are not watching what’s going on in Winter Haven every day”.
They do, however, see that Carl Pavano could be the Opening Day starter in New York, that the Red Sox JUST figured out their bullpen which forced Julian Tavarez into their rotation, that the Twins have Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz in their rotation, and the Angels have a lineup of Vlad Guerrero and…well…um.

Ocker actually compares the lofty expectations to the infamous “Indian Uprising” SI cover in 1987, and says that he has “yet to receive my first e-mail whose reference point is someone's sunny forecast about the Tribe's impending domination of baseball. It seems a little odd that fans haven't ordered me to get on the clue bus and admit that the Indians are the best team in the big leagues.”

Little does he realize that intelligent fans realized long ago to stop taking him seriously or regarding him as anything but a bitter curmudgeon whose relevance decreases with every one of these articles. The only people that e-mail him are likely the same ones who share his bitter stance. As evidenced by his weekly mailbag, if you actually present Ocker with a logical argument as to why the Indians are well-positioned to make a sustained run in the AL, he breaks out his condescending tone, dripping with sarcasm, that turns so many people off in the first place.

While Ocker is not the worst beat writer in Northeast Ohio (Branson Wright is so utterly unreadable that I haven’t finished an article of his all season…and I get the PD at home), but Ocker’s in the discussion. I’ve said it before, but when does Stephanie Storm take over his seat at the ABJ? Is today too soon?

From the worst writer at the ABJ to the best (sorry, Windhorst – you’re close, but Pluto is still the benchmark), T. Pluto weighs in on the final roster decisions, with Mike Rouse winning the Futility job. Don’t discount the concept that the 2007 Futility Infielder is not currently in the Indians’ organization as Ken Rosenthal had them interested in Tony Pena, Jr. – who has since been traded to the Royals to be their (gasp) starting SS.

Pluto also throws out the idea that Juan Lara could be a early replacement if Aaron Fultz struggles out of the gate to fill the LOOGY role. After the debacle that was Jason Johnson and the amount of time he spent eating a roster spot while Rome burned, I would expect the Indians to be more proactive in replacing a struggling pitcher rather than sticking with him because of veteran experience.

Officially, the Hector Luna Trainwreck is off the tracks…thank God. Enjoy his creative fielding, Bisons fans!

And Ozzie Guillen is well on his way to coming off the tracks, making friends on his way off the cliff.

Finally, Andy Call gets Jhonny Peralta on the record about his nightmarish 2006 season with a nice piece on the Tribe SS. I know that this article has been written a number of times and I’m not sure if this is true, but I don’t remember seeing an interview with Peralta on this until now. Jhonny certainly isn’t a quote machine, but it’s nice to actually see him speaking for himself rather than the Tribe brass saying all the right things on his behalf.

2 for 2 in the Final Four predictions (4 for 4 isn’t happening thanks to the brilliant coaching of Rick Barnes against USC), but 3 for 4 is still a distinct possibility.


Cy Slapnicka said...

Well, Comcast Chicago made my decision for me. We got a new HD TV for our bedroom and wanted to exchange our regular cable box for an HD box. We already had one HD DVR box and just wanted our second box to be a normal HD box. Apparently, they no longer allow you to get an HD box w/out DVR (and the additional $5 fee), you have to sign up for an HD DVR box for any TV you want HD on.

Worst part is, they don't even tell you that is the new policy. They lie and say they regular HD receivers are out of stock and tell you only HD DVRs are available. We know this for certain, as we know someone that was returning an HD reciever that day and went with them to try and exchange ours for theirs. The "customer service" rep still tried to tell us they were out of stock, even though we had one in hand that was being returned that instant. Needless to say, I left declaring I was switching to DirecTV. Somehow I don't think she cared.

I guess this is a blessing in disguise. I'll submit to MLB's evil ways and get the package, as Comcast makes them look like Amish.

I hope they can get it hooked up in 8 days!

rodells said...

Can we please just get rid of Matt Miller already? Why is he getting a paycheck from Dolan?

Paul Cousineau said...

You may have gotten your wish.

Andy Call at the Canton Rep has reported that he'll start the season on the DL and that Mastny and Lara are the front-runners to take the vacant spot.

Baltimoran said...

there is absolutely no way they can take Lara over a guy named Mastny...who is actually good too. let's pick it up with the voting, were down to only 61%.
PC put a link in your next post, now's not the time to be modest.

rodells said...

CC takes a line drive off hand/wrist. Came out of game immediately, taken for Xrays.

Hello Adam Miller (I HOPE, of course not if it means we're without CC for a long time).

He might never look back, ala Sizemore.