Tuesday, April 17, 2007

THAAAAA YANKEES...SUCK

With the Yankees welcoming the Featherheads to the Bronx, it’s as good a time as any to spit some vitriol regarding the Bronx Babies.

I hate the Yankees because their fans and their media view the rest of the league as their minor-league system. Ever sit with a Yankees fan when they say something like, “Sizemore’s a great player. He sure will be a great Yankee one day”?
To wit, SI.com reported this nugget today via the New York Post:
Later in the season, the Indians may decide lefty ace C.C. Sabathia will be too expensive to sign to a long-term deal and look to move him. The Yankees would have to be interested.

Really?!?
Wait, the mighty Yankees would be interested?!?
Boy, we should start exploring this trade RIGHT NOW!
We can’t miss a chance to deal C.C. to (head bowed in worshipful awe) the Yankees!

How lazy is this reporting? Did a NY beat writer look at which pitchers are doing well this season, not check to see that he’s under contract until the end of 2008(!), and “report” this nonsense – only to have the mindless Yankee fans nod along - “Yeah, I guess we’d take Sabathia.”

Couldn’t you replace the word “Yankees” in that sentence with just about any team in MLB? Who wouldn’t want a 26-year-old ace pitching the next two years under a reasonable contract? But, do the beat writers at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer write this garbage? No, because they don’t possess the insufferable arrogance of everything that surrounds the Yankee organization.

Speaking of arrogance, how badly would you like to wipe that smug little grin off of Jeter’s face? The DiaBride can hardly contain herself when Jeter comes up to the plate. Before she knew too much about baseball, she spotted him on TV.
DiaBride: “Who’s this hack? What’s he so happy about? Look at that smile. He’s so cocky. Who is that guy?”
Me (grinning ear to ear): “That’s Derek Jeter. He’s a great ballplayer (he is) who has done nothing but win the World Series since he got into the league.” (Note: this was about 2001.)
DiaBride: “I don’t care who he is. I think I hate him…no, I’m sure of it…I hate him.”

OK, maybe she didn’t say that last line…and maybe I just saw Tombstone again last week, but it went something like that.

But Jeter has his loyal fans, right?

Ever been to a Tribe-Yankees series at the Jake? I've never seen so many big-boned girls in one place as I do wearing Jeter jerseys. I think there’s a rule that only girls whose weight starts with a “2” can comfortably wear the “2”.

Speaking of Yankee “fans” (term used loosely) at the Jake, a few years ago I ended up yelling at some kid in an A-Rod jersey, asking him what borough he was from, then pointing out that Wadsworth and Brunswick are not technically boroughs of NYC. He shot back that A-Rod was better than Boone. REALLY?

The infuriating thing about Yankees fans at the Jake (outside of their obnoxiousness) is their sheer ignorance of baseball and their belief that counting World Championships ends arguments. 26? Really? So sorry, sir, I’ll go sit in the corner.

If somebody tells you that they’re a Yankees fan, ask them who plays 2B for them. If they can’t name Cano (who’s an excellent young player) and come back with something like, “Whoever it is, I’m sure he’s better than the Indians’ 2B”, just walk away.

It would be easy to destroy the idiotic bandwagoner with incessant mocking that how, with a payroll of over $189M, they are forced to throw Chase Wright and Darrell Rasner in a series, regardless of injuries. With that payroll, they should be able to afford a whole second MLB rotation in Scranton-Wilkes Barre.
But…just…walk…away.
Your mental health will thank you.

I’m all for recognizing the history of the game and the Yankees are a very large part of that history. But, the elitist obnoxiousness and insufferable arrogance that dominates so much of the “Yankee Mystique” these days has gone from respectable to ridiculous.

14 comments:

Jason said...

I typically ask Yankee fans older than 20 or so if they remember Matt Nokes. That's kind of my litmus test to see if they followed them pre-Jeter.

What I don't understand is how they could sign the best SS in baseball and move him to 3B while he has the SS with arguably the worst range in baseball still playing SS. Jeter's range makes Peralta look like Vizquel in his heyday. But Jeter is the "Captain", whatever that means.

I have a lot of respect for the Yankee organization. I got to meet Gene Michaels one time and he explained how they were on to the whole OPS/On Base thing before anyone else. It shows in how they built their dynasty. They spend money, but they generally do it wisely (though what's up with the injuries to the rotation).

I think this current team is fairly hard to hate. Sneer aside, Jeter is a pretty classy guy and will admit it when he has problems (like now with the errors). It would be refreshing if the fans could get past the "RINGZ" and see that he is human and that his abilities as a hitter is enough. He doesn't also have to be the best fielding shortstop because he isn't.

I just hope that the Tribe can bounce back after last night. What's up with Westbrook?

Tyler said...

See, Jason, you're making a reasoned argument about the actual baseball team, which is exactly the sort of thing your average Yankees fan is thoroughly incapable of doing.

OF COURSE the Yankees have an unusually good front office. There are other franchises (in baseball and elsewhere) with the benefit of a massive market that have nothing at all like the Yankees' success rate. The problem is the total non-fans trying to co-opt the Yankees' mystique. As if that logo connotes something other than an unusually good baseball organization. As if it means wins in and of itself.

I hope Sowers sillifies them tonight.

CleveSportsPerspective said...

Here's the fact--The only time in MLB history there was no draft of amateur talent and no major league free agency (so money was not a factor) was 1965-1976. Is it a coincidence that those years were a terrible period for the Yankees?

I think not!

Jason said...

I have a hard time buying the whole money=success argument. The Orioles have spent plenty of money and have been bad. The Dodgers have not won any championships lately despite some crazy spending (i.e. Kevin Brown). The Giants have spent big money on Zito and I would be shocked if they reap any rewards from it.

The Yankees certainly do spend. But they spend wisely. One thing their payroll does allow is some mistakes such as the short-term purchase of Jose Canseco.

I think the best thing to happen to the Yankees was Steinbrenner's suspension. Once the baseball people got to run the show they got good.

Cy Slapnicka said...

ah-hem fellas...um i think the yankees blog is down the hall. its right next to the art modell, john elway, and MJ boards.

unfortunately they are smashing the indians tonight, but i'm not about to talk about about how this team is hard to hate. i find it quite easy, with a juicehead at dh, a pretty boy at CF, SS, and 3B, two guys that talk about their man-love or lack thereof in the media, a guy that stole his old team's world series ball, and they may just employ clemens by season's end. in fact, the only person i do respect is rivera b/c he just goes out and does his job.

add on the media coverage and the fact that the espn broadcast just talked about how happy gay-rod was that he and jeter spent the summer on a mountain in wyoming for 15 minutes, i have no problems hating them. in fact, if i ran the scoreboard at an MLB park...i would wait until they high fived or embraced or just stood next to each other and i'd play this

Pat Tabler said...

Cy,
I think that this is what you mean.

What an awful 2 days.

Pat Tabler said...

Sorry, I meant this.

Cy Slapnicka said...

nah, no need to play that. i'd prefer the subtleness of just the guitar riff. and perhaps a picture on the jumbotron of their jerseys hanging over each other on a hanger in a locker. thats all that is needed.

Cy Slapnicka said...

in case we needed further data to support our dislike of hoynes....

"It's one thing to be a small-market team busing into the Bronx to play George Steinbrenner's $190 million ballclub. It's quite another to play like one. When the Indians come to Yankee Stadium, they look every bit like a $61 million team that accidentally stumbled into the executive boardroom."

I'd like to get him on camera and ask, "Paul, what dollar value did our team look like when we beat down the White Sox a few times this year? And should we bring a slingshot to the game today to further perpetuate your theory that our payroll has everything to do with this current team's ability to beat the yankees current team?"

Tyler said...

Well, hell with the Yankees. It's time for our favorite Brokeback Mountain jokes.

Cy Slapnicka said...

I HATE THE F-IN YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!

He's still gay.

Tim said...

Wow. One lousy out. Wow.

Tim said...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sYFwvgXu8iI

Milkey said...

I also enjoy walking up to everyone wearing a Yankee jersey in Cleveland or Cinci when they come to town, shaking their hand, and politely saying, "Wow! That's amazing. How long did it take you to drive from NYC? Or did you fly? That's amazing. It must be nice to see new ballparks all over the country. What do you think of Cleveland/Cinci?"

Then they say, "No, I'm from here." I pause for like 5 seconds in silence and then scream: "This guy hates baseball! Hey! Over here! This guy is not a real fan..."

Seriously. Ask my friends. That's what I do.