Thursday, May 24, 2007

Taking Out Some Frustation

The Indians dropped their 2nd in a row to the Royals due in large part to Cliff Lee, Mike Koplove, and Fernando Cabrera (who will heretofore NOT be known as K-Brera, maybe CaBBrera works better).

Last night, Lee didn’t even contribute his usual 5 innings and his awful fielding decisions undermined what started off as a promising night. With Jeremy Sowers going tonight, let’s hope that Koplove (or Cop Love) has enough FOP stickers on the back of his car when his car gets in the express lanes back to Buffalo to make room for Rafael Perez, who would offer a 2nd LHP out of the bullpen (after Fultzie’s 4 pitch walk on Tuesday) and can offer length in case of another Sowers stinker.

Since the Indians have now dropped the first 2 games of the “easy” series in this road trip (with Detroit and Boston being the other stops), I need something to make myself feel better.

As if on cue, arriving in the old inbox is this missive pertaining to the Yankees entry that appeared here about a month ago:
The subject line on this one reads, “Your bullsh*t article about the Yankees!!” which, I feel, sets the tone.
With that intro, I give you the inspired wordplay offered by one Liam C. Flynn, a student at Columbus State Community College:
I just wanted to let you know that I just saw your article and I must tell you that you don't know sh*t about anything. Yankee fans are the most loyal in sports today. I am from Manhattan, and trust me I hate the bandwagoners just as much. When you say that we're arrogant, f*** yes we are because the rest of the fans in baseball hate us, so that gives us the right to be arrogant. Learn your sh*t before writing another stupid article like that again bud!

I forwarded this to the DiaBride, who made some comment along the lines of how it was weird to read “hate mail”, but I disagreed. I can’t consider this “hate mail” because I love it so very much. I couldn’t have articulated better myself the holier-than-thou tone and circular logic (they have the right to be arrogant because the rest of fans in baseball hate them) that inhabits most Yankees’ fans views, put forth in that language most beloved by Yankees fans – incoherent, expletive-filled, confrontational babbling.

I was going to take the high road on this, but the Indians have lost 2 straight to the Royals and it’s time to work on the speed bag.

Mr. Flynn,
It’s nice to see that the dial-up modems at CSCC are just now getting this entry to you, but I just wanted to make you aware of a little something that’s available these days to quicken your merge onto the old “Information Superhighway”. It’s referred to as a digital connection, or even DSL. You may find this hard to believe, but some places even have connections to the Internet that are wireless. Just thought you would like to know that so you could stay a little more topical.

Moving on, Yankees fans are the most loyal? To who?
Yankees fans are the most notoriously fickle lot among all sports fans. It’s one of the things that make them so unbearable. The assumption that the Yankees should win the World Series every year and, if they don’t, someone is to blame and someone’s head is constantly on the chopping block that is the back page of the New York tabloids couldn’t be more disloyal to anything having to do with the team. It’s one thing to be loyal to a team through thick and thin; it’s quite another to moan and complain every time your team doesn’t win what you now assume to be your birthright, the World Series.

In regards to your feelings that you have a right to be arrogant, let me be the one to inform you that the reason you likely have few to no friends in Columbus is because you actually feel this. As anyone who has attended a Midwestern university (which, sadly, CSCC doesn’t count as), I can tell you that we all knew THAT guy from New York who walks around campus all day looking like Turtle from “Entourage” – decked out in your NYY gear, just begging someone to engage you in a discussion about the Yankees. That New York guy was the guy who lived on everyone’s floor, always bemoaning the fact that there was nothing to do in “this cowtown” and if you were back in “The City”, you’d be going nuts right now, blowing it up. Know what, Liam? Nobody’s keeping you in Ohio, unless CSCC was the only place that would accept the obvious failures of your education to this point, as evidenced by the laughable diction and language of your e-mail.

Don’t worry, “bud”, if you follow the path of most New Yorkers with your attitude that slum it in the Midwest for a year or two, after living in a single in your residence hall next year (because nobody can take your rightful arrogance for longer than 2 minutes), you’ll be back home in your beloved NYC with stories about how much better New York is than the rest of the backwoods country.

Until that happens, please keep your Yankees gear in your dorm room until your team actually approaches being 5 games back and doesn’t hang all of its hopes on a 45-year-old “physical specimen” whose body has avoided the ravages of Mother Nature (just like Sly Stallone’s “miraculously” has) and will pitch every 5th day.

If you read this (via the dial-up modem) before the All-Star break, Mr. Flynn, I hope that you are enjoying the summer in Ohio and that someone has recently offered you a one-way trip out of our state and back to the sewer from whence you came. I suggest you take it.
Faithfully submitted,
The DiaTriber, Sergeant-At-Arms

Ah, that feels much better.
Now it’s time for the Indians to stop looking past the Royals and avoid the series sweep on their way into Motown.


Cy Slapnicka said...

I think I found a picture of our dear Liam, or shall we call him Icee Jake? i'm not sure i like attacking Icee based on his attending CSCC. We've got to give him credit, its far more education than you're average Yankee fan will ever obtain. Icee, I appluade your decision to attend an institution of higher learning.

Now I'd like to get back to what this conversation should be about....

a "team" where all the players go to the highest bidder but say they came b/c they want to win a championship. you'd think all the players that came in the past 6 years would be disappointed with their decision. considering the direction of the club... poor pitching, the media scrutiny, the belligerent owner, negative cash flow, bloated roster, doesn't seem like an attractive place to go win a championship by signing a multiple year deal. there are many teams that are better designed to compete in the foreseeable future. oh wait, they didn't come for that, they went to the highest bidder.

basically, you have a team of mercenaries, most of which were developed elsewhere. icee, you must find those players hard to get behind, unless of course they have a #13 jersey on and their pants around their ankles.

a "team" where the players discuss their man-love in the media, not to each other.

a "team" that allows one of their players to not be on the team but still be on the team every 5 days.

a "team" whose owner publically questions management and baseball decisions, yet knows nothing about either.

one of my favorite things is the fact that they can buy whatever they want, spend way more than everyone, and STILL not win the world series. that really shows how incompetent their mgmt is and how great their strategy is. they've more than doubled their payroll since their last world series title and the best part is, the yankees have been losing money each year. lots of money. their fans must not take business classes at their chosen institutions of higher learning (or perhaps they are not offered), because this is not a good idea and must come to an end at some point. and when it does, their "empire" will no longer be able to buy 90-100 wins and an early exit from the fall classic. they may have to build a team like the rest of baseball.

realize this, you are not entitled to be arrogant b/c people hate you. people hate you b/c you are arrogant pricks that root for frontrunners and choose the cap on your dome based on fashion, not loyalty. people hate you b/c your chosen team receives receives reach arounds from the media. people hate you b/c we are forced to watch your "team" of mercenaries on national broadcasts and sports highlight programs when there are much more fun and interesting things going on in baseball. and far as you specifically are concerned...based on your email, people probably hate you for reasons other than your status as a yankee fan.

Chris Swartout said...

As an Indian fan in New York (Brooklyn, not Manhattan) I am overjoyed at watching Yankee fans squirm so far this season. The blown save which began the reversals of our fortunes was tough to take on the day, but since then, what a joy. Who knew things would change so much after that day.

Yankee fans are somewhat humbled so far this year, even though they still blame bad luck (and in this season I do see their point, if only a little). I agree that they are fickle fans, but I will give many of them credit for being pretty knowledgable about the game. Several have joked to me about how happy they will be when CC is in a Yankee uniform. Yeah, whatever.

Nice post. Living in the middle of Yankeedom can be tough at times. Luckily the Mets have taken some of the oxygen away from the Bronx. And I'm happy to report that there are plenty of Tribe fans here in NYC.

Baltimoran said...

i never thought i could hate a Piston as much as i hated Laimbeer...damn you Rasheed Wallace

O's country has just given up when it comes to defending themselves against yankee fans...partly cause their outnumbered at Camden when the pinstripes come to town...nothin worse than being in the inner harbor during a weekend yankees series

Unknown said...

Im Confused How Did My Name Get In This Conversation I Dont Even Watch Sports Lol

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