Tomahawks with DJ and Hawk

As the rain falls on the shores of Lake Michigan, it looks like a charter fishing trip out of the Milwaukee Marina may fall by the wayside (unless, as “Captain Mark” says, we would enjoy not catching any fish while soldiering through 4 to 6 foot whitecaps).
So, with some time suddenly on my hands, let’s release some t-hawks:
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One of the positives of having the Indians play the White Sox and the game being broadcast on WGN while one is out of town is that Tribe fans not able to sync up with STO are able to watch the Erie Warriors in live on TV. That being said, the fact that the game is on WGN just about destroys all positives that seemed possible.
How can this be, you ask, if you’re able to catch the Tribe on TV?
As out- of-towners (and particularly Chicagoans) are aware, the broadcasting team of “Hawk” (Ken Harrelson) and “DJ” (Darren Jackson) who occupy the WGN booth ruin any possibility of enjoying a baseball game with their inane comments that seem to be directed to “young players” on the “right way to play the game”, blatant ChiSox cheerleading, and general lack of knowledge concerning baseball.

Some snippets caught during Wednesday’s game from The Hawk and DJ:
Jeremy Sowers’ greatest attribute as a pitcher is his “courage” because he lacks any kind of talent and the fact that he was a 1st round draft pick baffled them. His 5 K were merely a result of Home Plate Umpire James Hoye giving Sowers’ the outside corner as every called strike was met with a “he thought it caught the outside corner…I guess.” No mention was made on the same strike zone helping Javier Vazquez, whose 5 K came from virtue of his allegedly overpowering Tribe hitters. They also decided that the radar gun in Progressive Field was wrong because there was no way that Sowers’ fastball was sitting at 91 MPH if the White Sox hitters couldn’t hit it. He also, according to them, doesn’t throw a change-up…a fact, of course, rebutted by FanGraphs, which tells us that nearly 14% of Sowers’ pitches this year have been change-ups.

On a related note, Vazquez has the 2nd best “stuff” for a pitcher with more than 100 career wins and 100 career losses in the history of MLB. In case you were wondering, Nolan Ryan had the best “stuff” in the category of 100-100 pitchers…and Nolan Ryan once hit Harrelson in the neck in Spring Training. That, by the by, was a three inning discussion, with little discourse not pertaining to Ryan, despite both Vazquez and Sowers being perfect through the first few innings.

The White Sox announcers feel that Sizemore is the best player on the Indians, with Shin-Soo Choo closing that gap VERY quickly, given that Choo is the most “dangerous” player on the Cleveland team and a reminder that they do “have some talent over there.”

Hawk followed up his call of Jhonny Peralta’s 2-run double with a “Damn!” No, seriously, I rewound the DVR four times and had two other people verify that I actually just heard the announcer scream an epithet after the opposing team scored runs.

Cleveland is, according to Harrelson, the world’s “largest fire hazard”…an apparent attempt to remind everyone that the Cuyahoga River caught fire a few decades ago.

Without getting too deep into the “good guys/bad guys” or “we/them/us” absurdity that peppers all of their comments because I know that this has been happening for years, the fact that neither refers to a White Sox player by his last name (and I do mean ever) is sickening. Hearing “A.J” and “Paulie” from time to time is one thing as it’s not uncommon for announcers to refer to established players in familiar terms (though it would be nice to mix in a last name now and then to attain some semblance of professionalism), but when the announcers are saying “Atta boy, Josh” when youngster Josh Fields gets a hit or hearing “Go get it, Brian” when a ball is struck towards Brian Anderson in CF is beyond annoying. Maybe people in Chicago like this or don’t mind it, but my brother-in-law watching the game with me (who lives in Denver and is more of a football/hockey guy than he is a baseball guy) sat there with me as our mouths hung agape, shocked at what we were hearing from the announcers, without even an attempt at even-handedness or impartiality.

I know that some announcers come off as “homers” (and Tom Hamilton could certainly come off that way from time to time) and this is not a new topic as I know that plenty of comments (particularly from those currently residing in The Windy City) have been shared regarding everyone’s “favorite” Hawk/DJ stories, but it is appalling to go from watching a Brewers’ game on FSN Wisconsin, with their solid and insightful broadcasters who actually describe game action, to go to the WGN feed of a White Sox game that only seems to be lacking pom-poms. All told, I know I’m not revealing anything new here, but Wednesday served as a reminder to me what an embarrassment WGN broadcast is and how it has devolved into what almost sounds like a “Saturday Night Live” satire.
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Did anyone notice that reliever Jonathan Meloan, who was sometimes referred to as “Jon” while in LA, is suddenly being referred to as “John” as he was included in the September call-ups? I’m not sure why I find this fascinating, but I’m just not sure how an “H” appears out of nowhere, unless Meloan’s locker is next to a certain SS, who has already rubbed off on him.
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Want an infuriating fact to dwell upon?
Even if you don’t, here it comes:
AL Central Interleague Records (Overall Records)
Chicago: 12-6 (78-61)
Minnesota: 14-4 (77-62)
Cleveland: 6-12 (67-71)
Detroit: 13-5 (67-72)
Kansas City: 13-5 (58-79)

So while the rest of the AL Central got fat on Interleague play, the Indians lost the opportunity (and if you don’t remember, it came at the time that the season fell apart) to take advantage of a soft part of their schedule.
How soft?
Indians’ Interleague Opponents’ Overall Records
Cincinnati: 61-78
Los Angeles: 70-70
Colorado: 66-75
San Francisco: 60-79
San Diego: 53-86
So, against the dregs of the NL, the Indians’ dropped 12 of 18.

Turning that record into matching even the 2nd lowest record among AL Central compatriots in Interleague play (the White Sox are 12-6) is a 6 game turnaround that would put the Indians at 73-65, or 4.5 games back. I know that there are a lot of these things that can be played with “what-ifs” regarding certain games, but this Interleague one is the factor that just sticks in my craw and nauseates me as it shows how important each game is and how timing really is everything in baseball.
Remember this as Interleague play loomed?
Oh well.
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Spending Monday afternoon at Wrigley Field, in the midst of a playoff race, reminded me how fun it is to attend meaningful baseball games in September and just how badly I want the Indians to get back to playing for more than just being the “spoiler” next year.

The game also reminded me how fun Wrigleyville is and what gallons of Old Style does to one’s internal organs, even days after the fact.
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Finally, anyone else think this would be a good time for Jamey Carroll to address the team and bring some of that magic from the Rockies’ September of a year ago to the Tribe?

I know it’s too little, too late…but with the White Sox and Twins scuffling and 10 games against the Royals and Orioles on the horizon (and yes, I know about the Mariners series), a man can still dream can’t he?