Calling From The Cell

Serial poster (and self-proclaimed President of the Ryan Garko Fan Club) Cy Slapnicka spent the night on the South Side of Chicago last night and weighs in with a road report:

Wow, that was a rough one last night.
It sucks investing 13 innings and then the game ending like that. Thankfully Robin Williams rocked me to sleep chanting, "it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault..."

On a positive note, there were a good number of Indians fans there – far more than I’ve seen in the past. They helped balance the jeans-shorted, tank-topped, and tattooed White Sox fans – the ones that were blasted and heckling, whose only response to intelligent banter was, "Well, we won the World Series in 2005!"
Thanks fellas, but I could already tell by your wardrobe and arm band tattoo that you live in the past. I’d have more respect for their past championship if they weren't such douche bags.

The gene pool on the South Side never ceases to amaze me. I’m still waiting for my first positive experience with a White Sox fan that doesn't involve watching them get arrested. Speaking of which, some idiot ran on the field and did an admirable job at evading security. It was almost like he's done that before.
One of the security guys almost had a nice shoe string tackle but ended up with a handful of air as the shirtless wonder evaded capture. The fans of course went nuts, as I can only assume they were waiting for him to attack someone from behind (perhaps an ump?), as is tradition at The Cell.
That name seems so much more appropriate now that I think about it.

Anyway, a couple fun things:
It was so quiet during extras that when Garko-my-God-did-you-see-how-far-he-hit-that hit a foul down the 3B line (in the 12th?); I actually heard the ump over there call it foul. I was sitting near 1B, so it was kind of cool to hear it so clearly.

We got the Frank the Tank chant going for a while, which I’m sure he heard. However, he still struck out. Is there a pitch he won't swing at?

The silence also enabled us to ask Jose Contreras how he thinks he'll like living in Gary, Indiana and if he likes the Rail Cats unis.

Some dork Sox fan a section over got hit in the chest by a foul ball. It wasn't a screamer, but he put his hands up to catch it and completely missed as it slammed into his chest. He made a nice recovery and got it off the ground, but had a full beer spilled on him in the process. Needless to say, he was heckled mercilessly and probably woke up with stitching welts on his chest. I can only assume he went right to the tattoo parlor and had it tattooed permanently.

As for the team, can we please stop talking about Kenny leading off? Now that I’ve officially seen him in person just walking to/from the dugout and playing catch, the thought scares me. His cool strut from the 90's has morphed into something that would only be cool at an Assisted Living property, only because he wouldn’t be using a walker. And I agree, he can only play against right-handers and it’s probably best we already have a full time leadoff hitter.

Hopefully, Hafner isn't too banged up. We were all confused when he disappeared from the game yesterday. I think it’s high time we slot Garko in the 4-hole and see what he can do tonight.

I’m back for more at the cell with the wife in 7 hours.

Thanks Slappy…and it’s time to bring home a victory from the South Side.

I doubt that I’ll be able to slip in another post before the weekend as I’ll be heading down to the Friday game myself, which pits Fausto and Yankees’ “Phenom” Phil Hughes. I’ll be sitting behind home plate with my buddy Captain Popov, quenching our thirst and (likely) shouting down Yankees’ fans that dare to enter the Jake donning Bomber gear. I’m sure there will be a few “diehards” cheering on their hometown Yanks. You know the guys…the ones that grew up in Medina, North Royalton, and Willowick.

I’m terribly excited, if only to see if Phil Hughes does, in fact, walk on water or if he is able to feed the crowd on hand using only a small amount of fish and bread. That’s what the Worldwide Leader claims he can do, so who am I to argue?

I’m interested to see how the hype machine in Bristol promotes this one and if they even mention the fact that Carmona is pitching or that the Indians are even playing the game during the beatification of Hughes.

Speaking of the Faustinator, file this away as another great El Diablo quote:
Twins’ OF Michael Cuddyer on whether Fausto Carmona has the best stuff he’s seen this year, “'Yes, and nobody's even a close second. Ask a lefty and he might tell you something different. But for a right-handed hitter, nobody is nastier than him.”
Remember that Torii Hunter commented earlier in the year that facing Carmona was like trying to hit a baseball hung-over.

I think El Diablo has the Twins’ attention.

Hey, Hey, Hey...Let’s Go Tribe!