Growing Pains

Show me that smile again,
Don’t waste another minute on your cryin…

With some BRUTAL games in Boston, let’s go off the board for some light-heartedness that won’t remind us of a couple of heart-wrenching 9th innings (during Carmona’s Wednesday meltdown, the DiaBride was so tense she had to leave the room).

SportsTime Ohio has recently contributed one of the better Cleveland commercials of the past few years. There’s 2 versions linked, so be sure to check them both out.

Finally, a clever commercial by a local sports team about a local sports team. I don’t care how bad the season has been, when I hear that “What’s Up Ohio?...1, 2, 3, 4”, I’m jacked.

I don’t know who the band is, but part of me is waiting for the steel drums to announce the beginning of “Jane Says”.

Regardless, the commercial gets me excited, maybe not LeBron “Witness” jacked (I got chills the first time I saw that), but I’m fired up.

It’s certainly better than G.E. Smith’s dreadful “Browns’ Town”, which I can’t even find a link of – making me hopeful that I’ll never have to hear it again.

It’s also an improvement on the old, “We’re Talkin’ Baseball, Indians Baseball…. TALKIN’ TRIBE.

Unfortunately, because we sit here and watch every game, we’re also subjected to the likes of that Subway Commercial where they go to their reporter PJ “on the scene” at a local Subway, which could be the worst commercial I’ve ever seen.

Seriously, that commercial looks like it’s a high school production.

The new Pizza Hut commercial with the running clock and the guy just standing there runs a close second in the “Something a 5th grader could do with a camcorder” category.

The DiaBride and I also have an ongoing debate on the Ford commercial when the girl thanks her ex-boyfriend in Spanish, then informs her current beau of her ex. While the DiaBride swears that she shouldn’t have an accent when saying, “He’s my ex-boyfriend,” I would prefer a nice Salma Hayek accent to add to her allure.

I’d also like to see that girl from the Johnny Malloy’s commercial, the one who smells the pizza A LITTLE too long and too lovingly, eat a full meal. It would take hours.

Or how about the Erie Insurance Commercial that instructs you to contact your local Columbus agent today. Wait, where am I? Erie, Columbus, or Cleveland?

The worst could be that “AT&T See How They Live with Deion Sanders” where Prime Time follows around Big Papi and Pujols in their everyday lives. I can’t stand Deion when he’s just sitting at a desk. I’m supposed to enjoy him walking around MLers’ houses, “keeping it real”.

Who visits this website? And how does AT&T think that this improves their image?

The reason “MTV Cribs” is somewhat compelling is because it’s so ridiculous and you can’t figure out how Sabrina, the Teenage Witch is worth 8 figures.

We know baseball players are rich, we know they lead a great life, it’s not exactly what I want to do with my free time on the Web, though.

Frankly, I’m still waiting for the guy from Norton Furniture to buy some ad time during Tribe games. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s worth watching all of them on YouTube.
Yes, they’re real. The man and the store actually exist.

Sorry out-of-towners who can’t relate to the ins and outs of an Indian broadcast; but, in case you’re wondering, this is what my summer has degenerated into.
Well, that and shopping for baby furniture.

STO has also recently started non-Indians programming, the highlight of which is the Tee-It-Up Ohio show that follows WKYC sports anchor Mike Cairns as he duffs it up with golf pros at local golf courses. No, seriously, Training Camp Daily is pretty good.
But programming, not dead air is what we need more of.

Now if we can only get them to show tape-delayed Bisons and Aeros games during the day (Aeros’ previous night’s game at 12PM, the Bisons’ previous night’s game at 3PM, the Tribe pre-game at 6PM).

Who wouldn’t DVR an Adam Miller start or for a chance to see every Trevor Crowe or Ryan Garko at-bat before the Indians game started (prior to his call-up)?

Finally, if you didn’t Vote Pronk – shame on you.

I did, with a big thanks to an usher in Section 307 over July 4th weekend.

Please take note of the corner of the Wickmans’ Warriors shirt.